what not to do on a first date

What Not to do on a first date

Are you looking for love? If you are looking for love, you may need some advice on how to attract a partner and what NOT to do on a first date.

In this article, I am going to talk about things that you should avoid when you are going on a first date with someone. It can be nerve-wracking meeting your date for the first time, and sometimes nerves can get the better of you.

What not to do on a first date

Take a look at what not to do on a first date and try it out for yourself. Taking this advice can really help you when it comes to meeting the right person.

1. Try to be someone you’re not

When you meet someone for the first time you need to be completely honest with them and be yourself. If you really like your date and want to meet again, you can’t pretend to be someone you’re not; the truth will always come out. Otherwise you’ll have to keep this pretense up forever. Are you that good an actor!!

In relationships, you need honesty and trust and if you are acting like someone you are not this can cause problems as you progress in your relationship with this person. Also, if you are interested in this person, you will want them to like you for you.

Be honest with them and yourself, as this is the best thing you can do. You will not be able to see if you are a match if you are pretending to be someone you are not. Doing this helps them to know, like then trust you. This is the basis of all good relationships.

You will have some amazing qualities. Let your date see them. If you don’t recognise them in yourself, then get help to build your self-worth and confidence before going on dates.

2. Pay little attention to your date

When you are on your date, you might feel nervous and look for distractions (such as your phone) to calm your nerves.

However, this could come across as rude to your date.

If you are not paying much attention to your date, you won’t be able to get to know them.

You want to show that you are interested in what your date has to say and this also shows you are very polite. Even if you may not be interested in this person, you don’t want to come across as rude.

Try and avoid going on your phone as much as you can, and engage in positive conversations with your date. If you have to go on your phone, only do it if there’s an emergency. Think of a scenario in which you’re chatting to someone. If they’re constantly on their phone, do you feel as though they’re really paying attention to you?

3. Forget to ask questions

When you are meeting your date for the first time, you will want to get to know them as much as you can, so that you can decide if you are compatible or not. If you do not ask them questions, it may seem that you are not interested to know them.

If you are talking about yourself constantly it can seem like you are uninterested in your date’s story, and more interested in talking about yours. This can seem off-putting to some people.

Try and keep the conversation going by asking your date questions about themselves and focusing on what they actually say to you too. Listen to hear, don’t listen to respond. I’ll talk about this more later.

If they’re talking about something they’re clearly interested in, or have a passion for, ask more questions. Your date will find this a really attractive quality. However, if your date keeps talking and talking about this to the detriment of asking you question’s then try to interject with something you enjoy too. Communication is after all a two-way process. If they don’t ask you any questions, then it could be nerves or it could simply be that’s the way they are. Do you want a relationship like that?

4. Talk about your ex, or past relationships.

This may seem like a common point to make; however, your past relationships can sometimes easily slip into conversation. Even if you don’t intend for it to happen, this topic can be bought up and if it is, it may seem that you are still thinking about the past.

Unless asked about it, it may be a good idea to steer away from this topic of conversation. Try to focus on your date and the person you are with.

It’s also probably best to avoid bad-mouthing any of your ex’s, as this could make you seem a little bitter and could bring an uncomfortable conversation to the table.

Leave the past in the past. If someone keeps talking about their ex, it’s more than likely they haven’t moved on from them yet. Not a great start to a new relationship!

5. Forget your manners

Normally, your date will sometimes judge you on how you treat others. So, if you are rude to your waiter or bar staff, they will see this and most likely judge you based on the way you are acting.

It’s always best to be friendly and polite so that you give off a good first impression. Check with yourself how you are feeling and try to remember to not let your nerves get the better of you.

Remember your manners and be polite to not only your date but those around you also, as it will look a lot better on you and you also may not seem as nervous.

6. Have poor listening skills

Your first date will help you to decide whether or not you want to see this person again. Alternatively, it can determine if you are not compatible. This decision can’t always be made if you are not listening to your date. Whether you are distracted by something else, or just not focusing on what they are saying; you won’t learn anything about them. This will also come across as rude to your date, possibly making them decide not to see you again.

You can learn so much about your potential partner on the first date, so focus and listen to what they are saying, you should be engaging and ask questions too. This should be the same as your date. Make sure they are polite and listen to what you have to say too.

Earlier in the article I mentioned about listening to hear, not listening to respond. By this I mean that you should really hear what they’re saying, then respond back to exactly that. Listening to respond means that you hear their words, but you already have your response in place. It means you haven’t really listened to them. You’ve only listened to say what you want.

 I know that nerves can get in the way, and you want to seem like you’re involved in the conversation. But just listening to respond comes across as rude and uninterested. Don’t do it. Simply listen to your date and ask questions about what they’re saying. If you have experienced something similar, then it’s fine to mention that. Remember, communication is two ways. But it’s equal. Don’t try to steer the conversation to something you want to talk about. Let it flow naturally. If this happens, you’ll know the date is going great.

If you need help with your dating then get in touch.

Not only will these tips help your first date go more smoothly, but you’ll know if they’re the right date for you. If you lack confidence or self-belief and struggle with dating, or relationships in general then I can help. I’m a qualified and experienced relationship coach. I’ve made all the mistakes above, and many more in the past. If you want to know more about me and why I can help you then simply click this link.

If you need to contact me for more information on how I can help then you can do that by CLICKING HERE